Idelle Kursman Shares 1946 Classic on Bereavement with The New Book Review Visitors

Title: Man's Search for Meaning

Author: Viktor Frankl

Publisher:  Beacon Press

Genre: Popular Psychology Psychotherapy                           

ISBN: 978-0807014271

Release Date of this Edition: June 1, 2006

Reviewed by Idelle Kursman

                                                                                                             

Dr. Viktor Frankl’s classic is as relevant today in helping with bereavement and grief as it was when he wrote it in 1946

"We should not ask ourselves what we want from life. 

We should ask ourselves, what does life want from us?" --Viktor Frankl

Many of us lost loved ones last year. Some through the natural aging process but a significant number due to COVID-19. Pandemic rules dictated that funerals be limited in size so only a tiny number of relatives and friends could attend and support the bereaved. Added to that, traditional mourning customs often had to be modified or abandoned due to virus concerns. Following the funeral, people had to face the business of going on living, and with so many job losses and furloughs, together with travel restrictions and limit on family gatherings, they were deprived of the usual coping mechanisms.

Dr. Viktor Frankl (1905-1997) was an Austrian-Jewish neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, and author. He was also a survivor of the Nazi concentration camps. He is the author of the classic Man’s Search for Meaning. I first read it in college and reread it recently for help with my own bereavement and grief.

Dr. Frankl was the founder of logotherapy. Verywellmind.com describes it as “…a theory that … through a search for meaning and purpose in life that individuals can endure hardship and suffering.”

In the first section of Man’s Search for Meaning, Dr. Frankl describes the stages of shock an inmate of the concentration camps endured once they got off the cattle trains. Some people gave up while others found the strength to go on through  thoughts of reuniting with loved ones and/or going back to their professions. Survival in the camps depended quite a bit on luck: finding a sympathetic guard to offer assistance, having a skill the Nazis found useful, and/or finding a fellow inmate for support. But diseases like typhoid were rampant, the prisoners performed hard physical labor from early morning to night, and they were undernourished. Dr. Frankl was one of the lucky ones who survived. However, upon his liberation, he found out his pregnant wife, his parents and his brother had perished.

The second section of the book is about logotherapy. Here are only three takeaways from the book’s treasure trove of useful advice:

1. Human beings need a certain degree of tension in order to maintain their mental health. By tension, he is referring to “the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task” (p. 105). Being in a tensionless state with nothing to be preoccupied or involved in is actually unhealthy.
2. The concept of meaning in life is different for every individual. In fact, it can differ from day to day, even at different times during a day. Frankl describes it best: “Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. . . Everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it” (p. 109).
3. Many of us need a change in attitude toward life. Instead of focusing on what we expect out of life and what is the meaning of life, we should be asking what life expects of us. This means taking responsibility and pursuing the right course of actions and behavior. 

I close by retelling a story from the book. It was the only thing I remembered from reading it in college. After the war, Dr. Frankl stayed in his native Austria to practice psychotherapy. One day an elderly doctor came to see him. He had lost his beloved wife and was so overcome with grief that he could not go on. Instead of counseling him, Dr. Frankl asked him what would have happened if he died before his wife. The man replied that his wife would have suffered terribly. Dr. Frankl then told him “You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it was you who now have to survive and mourn her” (p. 113). The doctor then shook his hand and left the office, needing no further treatment.

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 The New Book Review is blogged by Carolyn Howard-Johnson, author of the multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally series of books for writers. Authors, readers, publishers, and reviewers may republish their favorite reviews of books they want to share with others. That includes authors who want to share their favorite reviews, reviewers who'd like to see their reviews get more exposure, and readers who want to shout out praise of books they've read and love. Please see submission guidelines in a tab at the top of this blog's home page or go directly to the submission guidelines at http://bit.ly/ThePlacetoRecycleBookReviews or to the guideline tab at the top of the home page of this blog. Authors and publishers who do not yet have reviews or want more may use Lois W. Stern's "Authors Helping Authors" service for requesting reviews. Find her guidelines in a tab at the top of the home page, too. Carolyn Wilhelm is our IT expert, an award-winning author, a veteran educator and also contributes reviews and posts on other topics related to books. Reviews, interviews, and articles on this blog are indexed by genre, reviewers' names, and review sites so #TheNewBookReview may be used as a resource for most anyone in the publishing industry. As an example, writers will find this blog's search engine handy for gleaning the names of small publishers. Find other writer-related blogs at Sharing with Writers and The Frugal, Smart and Tuned-In Editor. #TheFrugalbookPromoter, #CarolynHowardJohnson, #TheNewBookReview, #TheFrugalEditor, #SharingwithWriters, #reading #BookReviews #GreatBkReviews #BookMarketing

Dr. Bob Rich Reviews Loving Healing Press Book on Shared Humanity

Title: Demystifying Diversity

Subtitle: Embracing our Shared Humanity
Author: Daralyse Lyons

Genre: Nonfiction: Self-Help, Inspiration
• Publisher : Loving Healing Press

• Language: : English
• Paperback : 178 pages
• ISBN-10 : 1615995331
• ISBN-13 : 978-1615995332

Purchase B&N or Amazon
Kindle $6.29
Paperback $14.34

Reviewed by Dr. Bob Rich 

This review is for two books, not one, because they form one unitary whole. Daralyse has written a powerful book that may change your life, and an accompanying workbook that forces you to convert intellectual understanding into a changed perception of yourself and your world.

If you want one sentence to summarize the book(s), it is “Dehumanizing anyone dehumanizes everyone.” (p 92) My attitude is that we are all family, going right back to the Rift Valley. Demystifying Diversity implicitly applies this concept. Successive chapters examine different sources of discrimination including race, religion, sexual orientation, body size/shape, and disabilities. Each is in effect a case study for applying the message of all the great religions and philosophies: the power of unconditional love. As Daralyse reports her connection to a wide variety of inspiring people, bringing each to life within these pages, she demonstrates that human nature is basically cooperative, compassionate and decent. She invites the reader to identify with this view, and to proactively apply it to everyone.

We learn from doing, not from reading, and so setting exercises is a good teaching device. I enjoyed the exercises in the workbook, and although I was reading because the publisher requested a review, I found myself spending time and mental effort in thinking about the tasks she’d set. Some of the exercises will take you months, such as learning a new language, or a whole lifetime, like becoming friends with people from a culture now foreign to you.

This is a passionate book, a program with the intention of reforming an insane, hating, greedy culture into a sane, loving, generous one. Daralyse is always on the side of the victim — but rightly considers the perpetrator, the abuser, to be also a victim of the abusive behavior: “Trauma is cyclical. Standing for human rights requires us to develop our capacity for empathy and to search out the causes that create conditions of violence and victimization. If we don’t intervene in restorative and reparative ways, hurt people are likely to hurt other people.” (p xii)

Another way I have connected with Daralyse is her distinction between a person and an action. She writes, “Confronting the human capacity for evil doesn’t mean losing sight of the beauty and resilience within each of us. In fact, acknowledging both is the only foundation from which to begin the process of repairing the world.” (p2)

I can’t do better than to finish this review with another quote: “So many of the people I came to know and love since embarking on the Demystifying Diversity initiative are people I would never have crossed paths with otherwise. By connecting over our shared humanity, I have forged lasting friendships and learned a lot about the importance of empathy. Some of the people who have enriched my life the most are people with whom I don’t share much on the surface. Yet, we have connected deeply. They’ve taught me so much and I consider our relationships to be sacred. I could never have figured out the lessons they’ve taught me without them entrusting me with their stories.” (p 140) This is why Daralyse invites you to reap the same benefits through this book.


More About the Author

Daralyse Lyons, aka the Transformational Storyteller, is a journalist, an actor, and an activist. She has written more than two dozen full-length books, a handful of short stories, and countless articles, performed in various plays and in improv comedy shows. A member of the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ) and a summa cum laude graduate of NYU, with a double-major in English and Religious Studies and a minor in History, she is passionate about exposing the painful side of history, the side that is not written by oppressors. Through her studies, she has come to see the beautiful and overlapping philosophies of Judaism, Islam and Christianity and wonders why people so often use religion as a battering ram, instead of a source of solace and support. As a Biracial woman, she has made it her mission to stand for a more integrated world. As a sexually fluid person who has had relationships and experiences with both men and women, she has had to find her place amidst a multitude of communities that attempt to erase her orientation and has been a voice within the darkness. 

After writing an award-winning children’s book (I’m Mixed!) about embracing her multiethnic heritage, Daralyse found her passion and her purpose educating others about the need to embrace all aspects of themselves. Since then, she has written and spoken extensively on the subject of diversity. Her perspective is one that looks to acknowledge the past while refusing to become incapacitated by it. As a Biracial, multiethnic and sexually fluid woman, she is uniquely empowered to use her seemingly disparate background as a catalyst for cross-cultural understanding.

More About the Reviewer

Dr. Bob Rich knows all about prejudice and discrimination, having been a Jewish child in a culture where “You Jews murdered Jesus!” was a customary prelude to physical violence, then “I fought for this country! You foreigners are coming to take it over. Go back to where you came from!” was a sequel. So, like Daralyse, all his life, he has been on the side of the underdog. As he matured, he also developed compassion for the abuser, and now the whole of humanity is his family: he cares for you even if he hates your actions. That’s why he is a Professional Grandfather. If you want to know what that implies, visit his popular blog, Bobbing Around, at https://bobrich18.wordpress.com Learn more about him at http://bobswriting.com. Tweet with him @bobswriting. His newsletter is "Bobbing Around" at https://bobrich18.wordpress.com. His mottos are:
Commit random acts of kindness
Live simply so you may simply live

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